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Tuesday, April 19, 2011

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.. 3 Easy Ways to Die :


Take a Cigar daily - You will die 10 years early.


Drink Rum daily - You will die 30 years early.


Love Someone Truly - You will die daily.



1. A foolish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells


her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.




2.. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption :


Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD


After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY


3. Three FASTEST means of Communication :


1. Tele-Phone


2. Tele-Vision


3. Tell to Woman


Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANYONE.


4.. Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their friends.


5. A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best Woman..


Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.


Moral : BE SPECIFIC



6.. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving through a forest.


They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them.


Ant 1 says : we should KILL him.


Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone.


Ant 3 says : No, we will just throw him away from our path.


Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.




7. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in your life.


If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life.



8.. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.


Answer : On their MARRIAGE.




9. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you from Darkness.


Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness - Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.




10. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women.


Because per Constitution, you can NOT BE PUNISHED TWICE for the same Mistake.

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