Passive aggression refers to a behaviour pattern characterised
by indirect resistance to the demands or requests of others and an avoidance of
confrontation. This can manifest in various ways, including procrastination,
sullenness, stubbornness, and inefficiency. Passive-aggressive individuals
often express their negative feelings subtly rather than openly, making their behaviour
difficult to address directly. Here are some common signs of passive-aggressive
behaviour:
Procrastination:
Delaying tasks or responsibilities to express discontent or resistance.
Sullenness:
Showing silent resentment or irritability, often without direct
explanation.
Stubbornness:
Refusing to comply with requests or follow instructions, often in a way
that is not openly defiant.
Sarcasm:
Using biting humour or comments to express anger or frustration indirectly.
Withholding
Information: Not sharing necessary information or giving incomplete
answers to impede progress.
Inefficiency:
Performing tasks poorly on purpose to resist demands.
Non-communication:
Avoiding conversations or pretending not to hear requests.
Causes of Passive Aggression
Passive-aggressive behaviour can be rooted in various
psychological factors:
Fear
of Confrontation: Individuals may avoid direct conflict due to fear of
the consequences or a lack of confidence in handling confrontations.
Upbringing:
Growing up in an environment where direct expression of feelings was
discouraged can lead to passive-aggressive tendencies.
Power
Dynamics: Feeling powerless or subordinate can lead individuals to use
passive aggression to exert some control.
Cultural
Influences: Certain cultures may emphasise indirect communication,
which can foster passive-aggressive behaviour.
Dealing with Passive-Aggressive Behavior
Addressing passive aggression involves several strategies:
Clear
Communication: Encourage open and honest communication. Address issues
directly and provide a safe space for expressing feelings.
Setting
Boundaries: Establish and enforce clear boundaries to prevent
passive-aggressive behaviour from disrupting tasks or relationships.
Assertiveness
Training: Help individuals develop assertiveness skills to express
their needs and feelings directly.
Seeking
Professional Help: Therapy or counselling can be beneficial for
individuals struggling with passive aggression, helping them understand
and change their behaviour patterns.
Recognising and Responding to Passive Aggression
When dealing with someone who exhibits passive-aggressive behaviour:
Stay
Calm: Avoid reacting emotionally to passive-aggressive behaviour.
Address
the Behavior, Not the Person: Focus on specific actions rather than
labeling the individual as passive-aggressive.
Use
“I” Statements: Express how the behaviour affects you using statements
that begin with “I,” such as “I feel frustrated when tasks are delayed
without explanation.”
Encourage
Direct Communication: Prompt the person to openly share their concerns
or frustrations.
Understanding passive aggression and learning effective ways
to address it can significantly improve interpersonal relationships and
productivity in various settings, from the workplace to personal life.
Dark psychology refers to studying and applying
psychological principles to manipulate, control, or influence others for
personal gain or malicious intent. It delves into understanding how individuals
can exploit cognitive biases, emotional vulnerabilities, and behavioural
patterns to achieve their objectives, often at the expense of others'
well-being.
Some common tactics associated with dark psychology include:
Manipulation:
Using deceit, flattery, guilt-tripping, or other tactics to influence
someone's thoughts, feelings, or behaviours.
Persuasion:
Employing persuasive techniques such as framing, social proof, or scarcity
to sway someone's opinions or decisions.
Gaslighting:
A form of psychological manipulation in which the perpetrator seeks to
make the victim doubt their perceptions, memories, or sanity.
Mind
Games: Engaging in psychological games or power struggles to assert
dominance or control over another person.
Emotional
Exploitation is taking advantage of someone's emotions, insecurities, or
vulnerabilities to manipulate or control them.
It's important to note that while understanding dark
psychology can help recognise and protect oneself from
manipulation, it's crucial to use this knowledge ethically and responsibly.
Many of the principles of dark psychology can also be applied positively,
such as in negotiation, persuasion, or conflict resolution.
The Art of Doing Nothing emphasizes the importance of
slowing down, taking breaks, and embracing moments of stillness in our
increasingly busy lives. It's about deliberately setting aside time to relax,
unwind, and be present without any specific goals or tasks to accomplish.
In today's fast-paced world, busyness and productivity are
often glorified, but research has shown that constant activity can lead to
burnout, stress, and decreased overall well-being. The Art of Doing Nothing
encourages individuals to counteract this by intentionally carving out periods
for rest and rejuvenation.
Practising the Art of Doing Nothing is not about being idle
or unproductive. It's about engaging in activities like meditation,
mindfulness, or simply sitting quietly and enjoying nature. These active
moments of relaxation can help reduce stress, increase creativity, and improve
overall mental and physical health.
Furthermore, the Art of Doing Nothing doesn't necessarily
mean being idle or unproductive. It's about finding balance and recognising
that taking breaks and allowing ourselves to recharge can enhance our
productivity and effectiveness in the long run.
The Art of Doing Nothing is more than a concept. It's a gentle reminder to prioritise self-care and embrace moments of quiet contemplation in our busy lives. By doing so, we can cultivate greater happiness, fulfilment, and peace of mind. This practice can enhance our
overall well-being and effectiveness in the long run.
Procurement in the construction industry refers to obtaining goods, services, and resources necessary for completing construction projects. It involves various stages, from identifying needs and selecting suppliers to negotiating contracts and managing supplier relationships. Effective procurement ensures that construction projects are completed on time, within budget, and to the required quality standards.
Here are some key aspects of procurement in the construction industry:
Needs Identification: This involves identifying the materials, equipment, and services required for the construction project. It requires collaboration between project managers, engineers, architects, and other stakeholders to determine the project's specifications and requirements.
Supplier Selection: Once the needs are identified, the next step is to select suitable suppliers or subcontractors. Potential suppliers are evaluated based on price, quality, reliability, experience, and past performance. The goal is to choose suppliers to provide the required goods and services within the project's constraints.
Tendering and Bidding: In many cases, construction projects involve a competitive bidding process where suppliers submit proposals or bids in response to a request for proposal (RFP) or invitation to tender (ITT). The client or project owner evaluates these bids based on various criteria and selects the most suitable supplier.
Contract Negotiation: Contracts must be negotiated and finalised once a supplier is selected. This involves defining terms and conditions, pricing, delivery schedules, quality standards, and other relevant agreement aspects. Effective contract negotiation is essential for ensuring clarity, minimising risks, and protecting the interests of all parties involved.
Supply Chain Management is critical for ensuring the timely delivery of materials and equipment to the construction site. This involves coordinating with suppliers, monitoring inventory levels, tracking deliveries, and addressing any issues or delays that may arise.
Quality Assurance: Procurement also plays a significant role in ensuring the quality of materials and workmanship in construction projects. This includes specifying quality standards, conducting inspections, and enforcing compliance with contractual requirements.
Risk Management: Procurement professionals need to identify and mitigate risks associated with the supply chain, such as delays, cost overruns, quality issues, and supplier defaults. This may involve diversifying suppliers, establishing contingency plans, and implementing robust contract management processes.
Sustainability and Ethics: Sustainability and ethical considerations are becoming increasingly important in construction procurement. This includes sourcing materials and services from environmentally responsible suppliers, promoting fair labour practices, and adhering to ethical standards throughout the supply chain.
Overall, effective procurement practices are essential for the success of construction projects. They ensure that they are completed on time, within budget, and to the required quality standards. Collaboration, communication, and careful planning are key to achieving optimal outcomes in construction procurement.
Modern waste management
encompasses a variety of strategies and technologies aimed at minimising the
environmental impact of waste generation and disposal while maximising resource
recovery. Some key components of modern waste management include:
1.Source Reduction: Encouraging practices that reduce waste generation at the source, such as using reusable products, buying in bulk to minimise packaging waste, and opting for products with minimal or recyclable packaging.
2.Recycling and Composting: Implementing comprehensive recycling programs for materials such as paper, plastics, glass, and metals, as well as composting organic waste to produce nutrient-rich soil amendments.
3.Waste Separation and Sorting: Establishing systems for separating different types of waste at the source or through centralised facilities to facilitate recycling and recovery of valuable materials.
4.Waste-to-Energy (WtE): This involves using technologies such as incineration, gasification, and anaerobic digestion to convert waste into energy, thereby reducing the volume of waste going to landfills and generating renewable energy.
5.Landfill Management: Implementing measures to minimise landfills' environmental impact, such as liners to prevent groundwater contamination, methane capture systems to mitigate greenhouse gas emissions, and proper leachate management.
6.Advanced Waste Treatment Technologies: Researching and deploying innovative technologies for treating various types of waste, such as chemical and biological processes for hazardous waste remediation and advanced materials recovery techniques.
7.Waste Auditing and Management Planning: Conducting waste audits to assess the composition and volume of waste generated and developing comprehensive waste management plans to optimise resource recovery and minimise environmental impact.
8.Public Education and Awareness: Engaging communities through educational campaigns to raise awareness about the importance of waste reduction, recycling, and responsible waste management practices.
9.Regulatory Frameworks and Policies: Enacting and enforcing regulations and policies at the local, national, and international levels to promote sustainable waste management practices, including extended producer responsibility and landfill diversion targets.
10. Circular Economy Initiatives: Promoting the transition to a circular economy model, where resources are kept in use for as long as possible through recycling, remanufacturing, and redesign, thus minimising waste generation and maximising resource efficiency.
Modern waste management systems often involve a
combination of these strategies tailored to each community or region's specific
needs and circumstances. Collaboration among government agencies, businesses,
communities, and other stakeholders is essential to successfully implement
effective waste management practices.
Stephen Karpman's Drama Triangle is a psychological concept that describes the roles people often play in interpersonal conflicts and dysfunctional relationships. It was first introduced in the 1960s and is used in transactional analysis and psychology to help individuals understand and change their patterns of behavior in challenging situations. The Drama Triangle consists of three primary roles:
The Victim: The Victim is the person who perceives themselves as helpless, oppressed, or disadvantaged in a given situation. They often seek sympathy and support from others and may avoid taking responsibility for their circumstances. Victims tend to adopt a passive, helpless attitude and believe that they have no control over their lives.
The Persecutor: The Persecutor is the individual who adopts a critical, blaming, or controlling stance. They see themselves as superior or in a position of power and often make others feel at fault for the problems or conflicts at hand. Persecutors may come across as aggressive, judgmental, or domineering.
The Rescuer: The Rescuer is the person who takes on a caretaker role, often to the detriment of their own needs and boundaries. They believe they must save or protect the Victim and may offer unsolicited advice or help. Rescuers can develop a sense of self-worth from their caregiving role, but they may also become resentful when their help is not appreciated or when it perpetuates the Victim's helplessness.
The Drama Triangle operates in a cyclical manner. For example, a conflict might start with someone taking on the Victim role, leading another person to adopt the Persecutor role, and a third person to assume the Rescuer role. Over time, roles can shift, with individuals switching positions or playing multiple roles within the same conflict.
The Drama Triangle is not a healthy or constructive way to address conflicts and issues, as it tends to perpetuate dysfunction and prevent genuine problem-solving. To break free from the Drama Triangle, individuals can:
Recognize their role: Becoming aware of which role they are playing in a given situation is the first step to breaking free from the Drama Triangle.
Take responsibility: Victims can work on taking responsibility for their lives, Persecutors can learn to communicate without blame, and Rescuers can set healthy boundaries and stop enabling dysfunctional behavior.
Encourage open communication: Honest and assertive communication is essential to resolving conflicts in a more constructive manner.
Seek help: Sometimes, it may be necessary to involve a therapist or counselor to break free from these roles and address underlying issues.
By understanding and actively avoiding the Drama Triangle, individuals can promote healthier, more balanced relationships and conflicts resolution.
Defined in the most simple way dark triad is the combination of predispositions which include non-sensitiveness (for
others) and covetousness, and relate to the model of behavior by which is taken the advantage over others,
exploitation the others because of his selfish interests (Jones & Paulhus, 2011)
Most people assume that others have the same moral code as themselves. We assume that others agree it is wrong to lie, steal, and manipulate others for our own gain. It can come as a shock, then, when you cross paths with someone who shatters that perception. In some cases, this person may be a narcissistic sociopath—a person with a unique combination of traits that causes them to create destruction in their personal and professional lives.
“Their interests aren’t organizational. Their
interests are for themselves,” said Birgit Schyns of Neoma Business School.
Schyns coauthored the article with Barbara Wisse of the University of Groningen
and Durham University Business School, and Stacey Sanders of the University of
Groningen.
The Dark Triad
Three types of personality profiles make up the points of
this dark triangle—psychopathy, Machiavellianism, and narcissism. Psychologists
Paulhus and Williams coined the term "dark triad" in 2002 when they
found that these three personalities tend to run together and cause trouble in
relationships.
Machiavellianism
Niccolò Machiavelli was a 15th-century Italian politician
famous for advising rulers to use deception and deviousness to maintain power.
Nowadays, his name is synonymous with a person who schemes and manipulates
people. People with this trait are strategic in their relationships, selecting
relationships with people they can use for personal social status or wealth.
In a self-report questionnaire of the dark triad personality
traits, items for measuring Machiavellianism include:
"It’s wise to keep track of information that you can
use against people later."
"Whatever it takes, you must get the important people
on your side."
"I use insincere flattery to get my way."
Psychopathy
When we hear the term “psychopath,” we tend to think of
serial killers à la Charles Manson and Ed Kemper. But psychopathy is a
spectrum, and we're all on it. People who have a high level of psychopathy have
low empathy for others, are callous in their actions, and tend to be reckless
and thrill-seeking.
Psychopaths might agree with statements like:
"Payback needs to be quick and nasty."
"People often say I’m out of control."
"I enjoy having sex with people I hardly know."
Of course, this is not to say that everyone who participates
in casual sex with strangers has high levels of psychopathy. A psychopathic
portrait would also include many hints of high risk-taking together with a lack
of empathy.
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Narcissism
Narcissus was a beautiful hunter in Greek mythology who fell
in love with his own reflection. But now, when we say that someone is
narcissistic, we mean something more than just vanity. Someone with high levels
of narcissism feels entitled to adoration, power, and high status, so much so
that if they don’t get these things, they may lash out.
They might agree with statements like:
"Many group activities are dull without me."
"I have a natural talent for influencing people."
"I like being the center of attention."
If they don’t get the attention they crave, they might, for example, lie about how many gifts they received for their birthday.
Based on the ominous name, you might think people would know
to avoid those with the dark triad. Ironically, we’re often attracted to people
who have a smidge of psychopathy or a hint of dominance, especially because
people with the dark triad tend to be good at making themselves appear more
attractive.
Dark Triad Relationship Patterns
There are five destructive patterns you can take note of to
recognize people high on the continuum of dark triad traits.
1. Lying
Researchers have found that those higher on the dark triad
continuum lie more often and think of themselves as good at deception. More
specifically, Machiavellianism is associated with telling more white lies,
while narcissism is associated with lying about popularity. The most troubling
are those with high levels of psychopathy, who are more likely to lie for no
reason at all.
When you catch a partner with these traits in a lie, you
might begin to sense that something doesn’t add up. These erosions of trust,
whether big or small, can start to chip away at your sense of security.
2. Infidelity
It’s well-known that those high on the dark triad scale are
more likely to cheat on romantic partners. Given their penchant for
impulsivity, lack of care for others’ feelings, and ability to lie easily and
often, this isn’t surprising. What’s more interesting is which traits in the
dark triad lead to which types of infidelity outcomes.
When people with higher levels of psychopathy cheat, it
tends to lead to a breakup. But when people who are a more Machiavellian cheat,
they can manage to keep the relationship going. This might be because their
strategic approach to everything lets them fly under the radar. Even when they
get caught, they’re better able to manipulate their partner and may get off
scot-free. In fact, you might find yourself wondering if you’re the bad guy
when the boyfriend you just caught sexting with someone else says you’re the
one driving him away by being too overbearing. Don’t fall for it! This is
classic Machiavelli.
3. Jealousy and revenge
Those with the dark triad tend to have higher levels of
preventive jealousy—that is, feeling jealous before they’ve been given reason
to—than the average person.
One study found that those with the dark triad are not only
more likely to have cheated on a partner but also expect to be cheated on. If
they do find themselves in an unfaithful relationship; they’re more likely than
the average person to want to take revenge, like shouting at their partner or
spreading a rumor about them.
Interestingly, the dark triad women in this study said that
even though they would want revenge, they wouldn’t necessarily end the
relationship if their partner cheated. This speaks to wanting emotional control
over their partner for control's sake rather than doing hurtful things only as
an impulsive reaction.
4. Superficial relationships
Given their lack of true emotional devotion, people high on
the dark triad scale doesn’t tend to choose serious, committed relationships.
Now there’s nothing wrong with flings, dating for fun,
friends-with-benefits, and other not-so-serious “romances.” At different times
in our lives, we have different needs, and most of us have probably had
relationships that were never meant for a serious commitment.
But people with more dark triad traits tend to make a habit
of emotionally shallow relationships, both romantically and with friends.
Specifically, narcissism tends to go hand-in-hand with one-night-stands, and
psychopathy tends to go with booty calls.
In friendships, Machiavellians look to befriend those with
elite social status. Narcissists like to roll with a good-looking squad. Men with psychopathic traits are just like friends who can play wingmen and hook up with potential mates.
5. Relationships that don’t last
With all these not-so-glowing findings to recommend them,
it’s no surprise that people with high dark triad traits don’t tend to have
long-lasting relationships.
Even if they wanted to stay in a long-term relationship,
people with the dark triad have a hard time making it last, perhaps because
they are simply hard to get along with. The researchers who first coined the
“dark triad” term noticed immediately that agreeableness—warmth, friendliness,
tact—is the one thing most people with these traits lack.
The dark triad traits have gray gradations, and if you
find yourself in a relationship with someone low on those scales, it might
simply end with hurt feelings. But someone high on the rungs of psychopathy,
narcissism, and Machiavellianism might cause you serious damage.
Medical Disclaimer: All content here is for informational
purposes only. This content does not replace the professional judgment of your
own mental health provider. Please consult a licensed mental health
professional for all individual questions and issues.
Red-flag behaviors
What should a manager do after identifying such job candidates or employees? Over-claiming, or falsely taking credit for, contributions to the organization. (narcissism)
Being aggressive after negative feedback and criticizing the source of feedback. (narcissism)
Treating valued members of the organization (trophy colleagues) differently than those who do not boost their egos. (narcissism)
Demonstrating a selfish perspective with a “choose your battles” mind-set. (Machiavellianism)
Trying to control or minimize other people’s influence. (narcissism, Machiavellianism, psychopathy)
Not sharing knowledge with colleagues. (Machiavellianism)
Using manipulation to reach strategic goals. (Machiavellianism, psychopathy)
Scheming for personal benefit without considering consequences for others. (narcissism, Machiavellianism, psychopathy)
Competing rather than cooperating. (Machiavellianism, psychopathy)
Making quick, short-term-focused decisions without considering consequences for others. (psychopathy)
Making bold, risky decisions without regard to organizational rules or ethics. (narcissism, psychopathy)
Questioning authority figures, rules, and the status quo. (psychopathy)
Bullying or criticizing coworkers to focus on interpersonal relationships instead of tasks at hand. (psychopathy)
Luring coworkers into wild behaviors or seducing coworkers or supervisors into romantic relationships. (Machiavellianism, psychopathy)
“If you can avoid it, don’t hire them. If you have them, don’t promote them,” Schyns said.
How to get out of a relationship with a dark triad personality
It can be scary to realize that your partner has dark triad traits. At the same time, it might feel like a morbid relief to put the pieces together. Either way, if you find yourself finally understanding why you feel insecure, emotionally spent, or like you’ve been gaslit, it’s a good first step to changing your situation.
To safely get yourself out of a relationship with someone with dark triad traits, here are good places to start:
1. Surround yourself with supportive people
People with high dark triad levels are known for playing mind games and undercutting your confidence. Bolster your defenses with people you can trust to be in your corner who will believe what you say and offer you a safe emotional haven.
2. Get your affairs in order
In some tragic cases, people have lost their financial resources, independence to move around, or other important safety mechanisms during a messy breakup.
Ideally, you'll want to secure:
An independent bank account
A safe place to physically go to
A private place to communicate with your supportive people
Anything else you may need to stay safe in case the other person acts recklessly
3. Make a clean break
Like Dua Lipa said, "Don't pick up the phone ... Don't let him in ... Don't be his friend."
You don’t need to keep justifying why you're leaving, especially if the other person is trying to excuse away your concerns or gaslight your feelings.
Commit to a clean break without giving in to crocodile tears that can seem convincing. Don’t linger in a shared living space. Don’t bargain. You don’t need to keep justifying why you're leaving, especially if the other person is trying to excuse away your concerns or gaslight your feelings.
4. Be compassionate with yourself
It’s so hard to be in a relationship (and to break up) with someone with dark triad traits. It’s not a sign of weakness or foolishness on your part that you got sucked in! Be kind to yourself. In extreme situations where safety is a concern, make sure you use your resources, including law enforcement, legal representation, and therapy.
It’s not a sign of weakness or foolishness on your part that you got sucked in!
You deserve to be respected and loved in a relationship, not lied to or manipulated. Now that you know the signs of the dark triad, you know how to spot a bad relationship in the making and get out before you get too deeply into it. And if you're already in it, don't be afraid to let go. You've got this!
Thanks
Jones, D. N., & Paulhus, D. L. (2012). Introducing the Short Dark Triad (SD3): A brief measure of dark personalities. Journal of Research
in Personality, under revision.
Jade Wu, PhD
Dr. Jade Wu is a licensed clinical psychologist. She received her Ph.D. from Boston University and completed a clinical residency and fellowship at Duke University School of Medicine.
