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Saturday, July 9, 2011

SUPERB Definitions





MARRIAGE: 

It's an agreement 
Wherein 
A man loses his bachelor degree 
And a woman gains her master 



LECTURE: 

An art of transmitting Information 
From the notes of the lecturer 
To the notes of students 
Without passing through the minds 
Of either 


CONFERENCE: 

The confusion of one man 
Multiplied by the 
Number present 


COMPROMISE: 

The art of dividing 
A cake in such a way that 
Everybody believes 
He got the biggest piece 


TEARS: 

The hydraulic force by which 
Masculine will power is 
Defeated by feminine water-power! 


DICTIONARY: 

A place where divorce comes 
Before marriage 

CONFERENCE ROOM: 
A place where everybody talks, 
Nobody listens 
And everybody disagrees later on 


ECSTASY: 

A feeling when you feel 
You are going to feel 
A feeling 
You have never felt before 


CLASSIC: 

A book 
Which people praise, 
But never read 


SMILE: 

A curve 
That can set 
A lot of things are straight! 


OFFICE: 

A place 
Where you can relax 
After your strenuous 
Home life 


YAWN: 

The only time 
When some married men 
Ever get to open 
Their mouth 


ETC: 

A sign 
To make others believe 
That you know 
More than 
You actually do 


COMMITTEE: 

Individuals 
Who can do 
Nothing individually 
And sit to decide 
That nothing can be done 
Together 


EXPERIENCE: 

The name 
Men give 
To their 
Mistakes 


ATOM BOMB: 

An invention 
To bring an end 
To all 
Inventions 


PHILOSOPHER: 

A fool 
Who torments himself 
During life, 
To be spoken of 
When dead 


DIPLOMAT: 

A person 
Who tells you 
To go to hell 
In such a way 
That you actually look forward 
To the trip 


OPPORTUNIST: 

A person 
Who starts taking a bath 
If he 
Accidentally falls 
Into a river 


OPTIMIST: 

A person 
Who while falling 
From EIFFEL TOWER 
Says in midway 
"SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!" 


PESSIMIST: 

A person 
Who says that 
O is the last letter 
In ZERO, 
Instead of the first letter 
In OPPORTUNITY 


MISER: 

A person 
Who lives poor 
So that 
He can die RICH! 


FATHER: 

A banker 
Provided by 
Nature 


CRIMINAL: 

A guy 
No different 
From the other, 
Unless he gets caught 


BOSS: 

Someone 
Who is early 
When you are late 
And late 
When you are early 


POLITICIAN: 

One who 
Shakes your hand 
Before elections 
And your Confidence 
Later 


DOCTOR: 

A person 
Who kills 
Your ills 
By pills, 
And kills you 
By his bills!

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