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Tuesday, April 3, 2012

National integrity


Bengali

One Bengali = poet.
Two Bengalis = a film society.
Three Bengalis = political party.
Four Bengalis = two political parties.
More than four Bengali's = Countrywide agitation to bring Ganguli into Team.

Bihari
 One Bihari = Laloo Prasad Yadav.
 Two Biharis = booth-capturing squad.
 Three Biharis = caste killing.
 Four Biharis = entire literate population of Patna.

Punjabi
 One Punjabi =100 kg hulk named Pinky.
 Two Punjabis = Pinky with his bigger brother Twinky.
 Three Punjabis = assault on the McAloo Tikkis at the local McDonalds.
 Four Punjabis = combined IQ equal to one.

Mallu
 One Mallu = coconut stall.
 Two Mallus = a boat race.
 Three Mallus = Gulf job racket.
 Four Mallus = oil slick.

UP Bhaiyya
 One UP bhaiyya = a milkman.
 Two UP bhaiyyas = halwai shop.
 Three UP bhaiyyas = a fist-fight in the UP assembly.
 Four UP bhaiyyas = mosque-destruction squad.

Gujju
 One Gujju = share-broker in a Bombaytrain.
 Two Gujjus = rummy game in a Bombaytrain.
 Three Gujjus = Bombay's noisiest restaurant.
 Four Gujjus = stock market scam.

Andhraite
 One Andhraite = chili farmer.
 Two Andhraites = software company in New Jersey.
 Three Andhraites = Naxalite outfit.
 Four Andhraites = song-and-dance number in a Telugu movie.

Kashmiri
 One Kashmiri = carpet salesman.
 Two Kashmiris = carpet factory.
 Three Kashmiris = terrorist outfit.
 Four Kashmiris = shoot-at-sight order.

Tamil-Brahmin
 One Tam-Brahm = priest at the Vardarajaperumal temple.
 Two Tam-Brahms = Maths tuition class.
 Three Tam-Brahms = Queue outside the U.S consulate at 4 a.m.
 Four Tam-Brahms = Thyagaraja music festival in Santa Clara.

Mumbaikar
 One Mumbaikar = footpath vada-pav stall.
 Two Mumbaikars = film studio.
 Three Mumbaikars = slum.
 Four Mumbaikars = The number of people standing on your foot in the train at rush hour.

Sindhi
 One Sindhi = currency racket.
 Two Sindhis = papad factory.
 Three Sindhis = duplicate goods shop in Ulhasnagar.
 Four Sindhis = Hong Kong Retail Traders Association.

Marwari
 One Marwari = The neighbourhood foodstuffs adulterator.
 Two Marwaris = 50% of Calcutta.
 Three Marwaris = Finish off all Gujaratis & Sindhis.
 Four Marwaris = Threaten the Jews as a community.

Haryanvi
 One Haryanavi = tube light
 Two Haryanavi = agriculture
 Three Haryannavi= Lathi squad
 Four Haryanavi = actually just one was enough

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