1. Get rid of the negative influences in your life
First step to loving yourself, get rid of the people that don’t love you.
Love is an
action, a choice—not a feeling. So anybody who claims they love you but
doesn’t make time for you, doesn’t make you feel special, or treats you
like you’re unimportant—they do not love you and they are a parasite.
They are eating away at your self-confidence and happiness. Get rid of
them. They are not good, not important, and most importantly, they are
not worthy of your precious heart and time. You’re beautiful, unique,
and amazing—don’t waste your time on people who don’t question why
you’re not famous for being awesome, duh!
2. Take more time to do the things YOU want to do
If your friends call you up on your day
off and they want to go to the movies, you really don’t have to say yes.
If you wanted to stay inside and read your favorite book for the 233rd time, do that! Just because the people around you do one thing, it doesn’t mean you have to do it too.
Next time you’re invited out or you find
yourself doing something with friends or family out of obligation, ask
yourself if it’s something that you really have to do. If it isn’t, is
it something you genuinely want to do? If not, politely decline, and
just do you.
3. Take that step out of your comfort zone
Do you want to take a painting class? Are
you interested in that yoga class at your gym? Do you want to talk to
that cute guy/girl in your history class? Just do it! You really won’t
be sorry you did.
The things you are scared to do the most
are the things that you’ll regret the least! I used to be so scared to
go to the gym. I’d hype myself up the night before, doing research on
all these cool exercises and routines that I wanted to try. Then in the
morning, I would get to the gym and end up on the elliptical or
stair-master for an hour because I was so worried what everybody in the
gym would think of some newbie trying to go hard on the weights.
Eventually, I got a personal trainer to
help give me a confidence boost. It totally worked. Now I hit the gym
and instead of worrying about everybody else, I just work on shredding
my routine and sweating all the stress away. It was also this mindset
that helped me realize that most people are too concerned about
themselves that they hardly ever notice those around them. So if you
think people are watching or will judge you, it’s okay to feel like
that, but don’t let it cripple you, or stop you. Just do whatever it is
you want to do anyway! You’ll be great as long as your heart is in it!
4. Be active!
Active doesn’t mean two grueling hours of power lifting at the gym.
It could be
as simple as going out for a walk around the block, jogging in place
while you watch your favorite T.V. show, or doing 15 minutes of
stretching when you wake up in the mornings.
If doing
intense workouts is your thing, or maybe long hikes—that’s great, do
that! Activity is whatever you want it to mean, but it’s important for
you to get up and give your body a little work out every couple days or
so. Not only does this mean positive results physically, but internally
too. Your body releases endorphins (the feel good stuff) when you’re
active, so you’ll feel more energized, optimistic, and ready to tackle
everyday situations that are otherwise frustrating.
On a personal note, exercising or going
for a quick stroll around my apartment complex gives me alone time that I
otherwise wouldn’t get and alone time is necessary for a person’s
individual growth. This brings me to my next point…
5. Meditate
Take a few minutes once a day to just breathe, to bring all your thoughts and emotions together.
I usually do this in the mornings after an
intense, sweaty work out. I go into the gym’s sauna and play a good
song and I ask myself “How am I feeling mentally?”, “How am I feeling
physically?”, and “What emotions am I feeling right now?” If it’s been a
rough morning or a tough week and I’m just angry or sad, then I start
taking deep breaths and start thinking positive thoughts to help
reinforce confidence and security within myself.
If I’m feeling good and I’m ready to
breathe rainbows, then I still take my deep breaths and I think of
everything I’m grateful for which really is the cherry on top when I’m
already in a good mood. Obviously everybody’s version of meditation will
be different, but meditation in general can make the world of a
difference in how you feel about yourself and your life. It also helps
to clarify and organize any mixed emotions you may be dealing with.
6. Compliment Yourself
I don’t care if this one sounds silly. It works.
When I get ready in the mornings, I find at least one thing I genuinely like about my look/outfit that day.
This morning, I really didn’t like
anything. My hair was being stubborn, I didn’t have time for make up, I
gained like 3 pounds this week, and it just wasn’t happening. I came to
work in a lousy mood and wanted to go back home and hide in my bed. Then
I realized, I didn’t find something that I liked about myself today… So
I went to the bathroom, made my hair work with a bobby pin, and I
smiled at the mirror and thought to myself, “My hair looks cute like
this!”
Now I’m in a much better mood, and it’s
because I feel better about myself. Now, there will be days where it’s
hard, just like me today.
However, I challenge you to fake it till you make it.
Look in the mirror before work, school,
whatever, and tell yourself one thing that you like about the way you
look. It could be as silly as, “My teeth look really white today.”
That’s awesome! Blind the world with your pearly whites! Guess what? The
more you make yourself find something you like, one day you’ll look in
the mirror and you’ll find something you like about yourself right away.
You’ll look in the mirror and you’ll say, “Dang, I look gorgeous
today!” even if you’re just wearing a baggy pair of jeans and a sweater.
It’ll happen.
Loving yourself is hard because nobody
knows your mistakes, flaws, and thoughts as much as you do. It’s so easy
to beat yourself up when you miss something, forget something, or make a
silly mistake, but I challenge you to be patient with yourself. I
challenge you to follow some of these tips and to stick with them to see
how loving you is achievable. You’re awesome and I know it, so it’s
time you knew it, too.
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