Search This Blog

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Why does all the romance and sex disappear pretty soon these days?

It is shocking isn’t it? In an era when we are getting exposed to sexual education and its implications everyday, sex itself is losing its importance and priority in our activities.

Statistically, it has been proven, that among 16-44 years age population,  it found that women were having sex an average of 4.8 times a month and men, 4.9. Ten years ago this was 6.3 and 6.2, and 10 years before that, 6.1 and 6.4.

Sex is something that helps us in many ways;

It makes us feel good about ourselves

It gives us satisfaction

It is a productive medium for reciprocating our amorous feelings for our partner

It also keeps us physically fit (taking into account that regular diseases like cough, cold, influenza, asthma and hereditary infections can be cured with having a regular healthy sex-life)

It is a vital step for procreation, though we are not inclined to discuss that at the moment as we are talking about sex and good mental health.

So why is it, that the current generation, which is so open about relationships and partner choosing and reluctant to have sex?

Is the progeny turning out to be bearers of under-active sexual hormones? No it may not be so.

Today, out television programs, films and documentaries are much open about sex and sexual procedures.

Earlier, films depicted sex in a very creative way (especially in Indian cinema), a picture of two flowers mating, or bees uniting with their parent flower, which is toady considered to be unrealistic and foolish, and it is true.

Today, every culture is progressing where creation of art is considered. Visual arts like cinema is becoming a medium of message, education and propagation of social awareness. Actions are much more realistic, especially love-making scenes are bold practically structured.

Documentaries and articles are discussing daily on the human body, its biological constructions and their implications on sex.

This has been aimed towards an open culture and proper knowledge.

But on the contrary, it is making us over thoughtful about sex and its procedures.

Factors contributing to these facts: 

When surveyed, it has been found that most people open up about their sexual anxieties which is mostly associated with satisfying their partners. People are too much concerned about the right procedure to accomplishing the perfect sex and this is the reason why, they lose the desire before engaging in the action. Things are becoming too technical, and nowadays, a couple chooses to learn a lot before doing something, ‘research’ is becoming more important than actual experience.

A gynaecologist is an expert on human bodies, especially the female body, and many of them, across different countries of the world have reported that they lack the lust towards their wives; there is nothing hidden from them, there is nothing new to discover, it is a part of their profession, hence for others, sex acts as a relaxation while for them, it is more of culturing with the human body, again, hence they feel lesser urge to have sex with their partners. If their wives are gynaecologists as well, they do understand the psychology.

The same theory can be closely associated with the attitude of the present generation towards sex, though not fully.

More knowledge and education, instead of making people comfortable and progressive, are making them more fearful and anxious towards sex and sex-life.

Besides, media, social world etc. are becoming so active that its making our personal lives inactive.

We are behaving like robots these days, checking our Instagram and whatsapp on phone while having dinner with friends and family; is this a good practice? We come back from work and start scrolling through the Facebook posts, photos and videos not knowing what we are actually looking for.

We check through the vacation photos of our friends and comment lazily on them, instead of planning a vacation for ourselves, we keep playing the #Asphalt game mechanically instead of talking to our spouse for a few minutes, or if we have nothing to do, we just switch on the TV and keep surfing the channels, communicating comes as a second thought, if we at all have time after such productive works, and sex being a part of that communication with your partner also comes as an afterthought; you can just miss it if you are sleepy.

Earlier, when there was not so much around to entertain us, in fact, those ages, when electricity would run out in India after evening time, communicating with your partner in the most creative ways was the best form of entertainment and it kept your relationship healthy.

But now, we are becoming progressive, we are advancing, but we are losing on important things in our life, our personal relations, friends, family, life-partner; we do not have the time.

As a result, we are becoming stressed out, we are having headaches staring at digital screens for 22 hours/24 in a day, more physical diseases, ill-health, poor mental health, and funny thing is, we do nothing to change it.

So what is the solution?

Please realize social network is weakening your social skills, it is stealing away your time of personal interactions. May be your partner feels neglected and hence he/she is indulging in these mechanical mediums too.

  1. Everyday, spend five minutes in the morning sitting quietly doing nothing.
  2. After coming back from work, engage in making the evening coffee with your spouse instead of turning on the TV.
  3. Surfing and scrolling on social networking sites should not take more than half an hour of your day, promise yourself.
  4. Stop watching weird videos or photos on sex.
  5. There is no need to flip to every article on sex.
  6. The more time you spend with your partner, the more desired you will feel towards him/her.
  7. Discover yourselves daily with new surprises with each other.
  8. Go for a net-free vacation with him/her.

Sex is natural, it is healthy for your heart and mind, it will come naturally, do not overthink it. It can be a great stress buster.
 Oyindrila Basu